| Why i love Seanbaby |
[May. 28th, 2009|08:50 pm] |
In response to Dick Cheney's statements about waterboarding terrorists preventing any attacks on our country since 9/11:
"Even if torture deserves all the credit, which would be crazy, thats not how ethics work. You can certainly get a cat out of a tree by raping people under it until emergency vehicles scare it away, But its my belief that the American people would regret not finding a better solution."
You can read the article here if you like. http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-torture-debate-as-a-batman-comic/ |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 17th, 2008|04:22 am] |
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There's a ritual i perform every now and again. In keeping with the rituals of my family, it is esoteric in nature, metaphysical in its execution, and spiritual in its outcome. I dont often observe, remember or acknowledge anything about my heritage, let alone participate in anything so sacred as this. My family has many such rituals that i from time to time engage in. From the "Ceremony of Punching Inanimate Objects" to "The Blessed Holy Ritual of Lighting one's Ass on Fire." The only such conceit to my upbringing that i engage in regularly is "the blessed sacred holy ritual of looking in the mirror and seeing if there's anyone you recognize in there pact of the ancient blessed three." Often the results are.......varied. For the first time in a long time i can do the chants, say the phrases and light the holy blessed sepulchre of the blessed tobacco in complete and utter peace and harmony. Ahhhh, such is life. |
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| Choose your own adventure! |
[Nov. 16th, 2008|05:32 am] |
Multiple choice time.
Help me choose the text that will accompany my next tattoo.
The art chosen will compliment the chosen text.
Please, i need as much as much input as i can get.
A> I'm not adverse to being alone
if it means I get to keep my mind
I'm not adverse to losing it all
if I get to leave it all behind
B> Well, I've never asked forgiveness and I've never said a prayer
Never given of myself, never truly cared
I've left the ones who loved me and I'm still raising Cain
I've taken the low road and if you've done the same
Meet me down there by the train
C> TO ALL YOU LASSES IN PARNASSUS SWALLOWING SWORDS,
SHOOTING OUT FIRE AT US HEATHEN HORDES,
I WAS THINKING SOMETHING BEFORE I BEGAN,
BUT THEN YOU DONE CUT OFF BOTH OF MY HANDS.
NOW I DO MY DRINKING FROM BAMBOO STRAWS,
CONSTANTLY KICKING AT TARANTULAS.
WHAT WAS I THINKING, MOVE TO BALTIMORE?…
OH YEAH, THE GREAT OUTDOORS!
D> TIGER, tiger, burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?
E> All of the above, on your forehead. With a Swastika on each cheek. Because fuck you. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 9th, 2008|03:48 am] |
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I have about the most bomb ass cat that has ever existed. Hide your womens and your plants, Cor-vyn the Deathwalker is among us. |
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| Personal discovery #16 |
[Oct. 14th, 2008|08:29 am] |
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I look goofy as hell with long hair (for me) shaved only at the sides. But when you combine that with a beard that is longer than my hair i look like half the G.I. Joe figurines i owned as a kid. I will not be posting photographic evidence of this, ever. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 3rd, 2008|07:36 pm] |
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FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST. FUCKSHITFUCKOHSHITFUCK I AM FREE AT LAST! |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 27th, 2008|12:57 pm] |
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I said no honey roasted brain meats! |
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| Que Buena Baila Usted? |
[Sep. 14th, 2008|02:41 am] |
| [ | music |
| | Tito Puente--Que Bueno Baila Usted | ] |
Apparently it is possible that i can get so pissed off i go around the other side looking happy. Lately I have been so incredibly furious that i randomly break out into salsa dancing. This inevitably leads my coworkers to question: Martin, porque encanta usted?
Thus leaving an ever widening gap between my coworkers and any kind of understanding of me at all.
This thought pleases me mightily. |
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| My coworker sent me this email |
[Aug. 8th, 2008|05:06 am] |
He is the only reason i haven't quit my job in a spectacularly naked manner........don't ask.
It is green eggs and ham not green eggs and fetuses.
I do not like green eggs and fetus
I will not eat them Mr. Cletus.
I will not eat fetus with a fork
I do not care if it tastes like pork
Mr. Cletus if you please
Take your fetus away from me
But if you try it you may see
That eating fetus may bring you glee!
The fetus died for you to eat
Now close your eyes and chew your meat. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 3rd, 2008|11:50 pm] |
I gots some ink yo! Its awesome! But its only part of the full piece so far. I'll probably post some pictures when its more finished.
And for the advice portion of this post:
When attempting to walk fire, never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever decide that it's time to dance half way through the walk.........ever. |
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| But i dont even like blondes............ |
[Jun. 22nd, 2008|05:10 am] |
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Your result for The Personality Defect Test... Brute
You are the Brute! You are introverted, arrogant, brutal, and more intuitive than rational. Like a big, dumb animal, you are driven by your emotions more than your reason, and as a result of the fact that you care very little for the feelings of others, you tend to be rather selfish. You also possibly fling your own poo. Because of your selfishness, you also tend to be a bit arrogant, seeing yourself as big or strong or smart or always correct. This makes you a stubborn, irrational, emotion-driven brute. King Kong best represents the gorilla-version of your personality. Emotional, introverted (King Kong was isolated on his own island, after all), brutal, and arrogant (proud to be the largest ape on Earth!), Kong would probably get along very well with you, seeing as how you share many of the same traits. Aside from, you know, all the fur. You probably keep to yourself and take great pleasure in watching fat people fall down stairs. (But who doesn't, really?) You probably also have dreams of becoming famous or well-known, but this most likely won't happen because your introversion limits your Hollywood connections. Being introverted, ape-like, and arrogant isn't so bad, though. It beats being dead. So your personality defect is simply that you act like a large, overgrown ape that thinks highly of itself whilst brutalizing buxom blondes. Or something.
Try to stay off of buildings.
To put it less negatively:
1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.
2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.
3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle.
4. You are more ARROGANT than humble.
Compatibility:
Your exact opposite is the Hand-Raiser.
Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Class Clown, the Schoolyard Bully, and the Sociopath.
*
*
If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.
The other personality types:
The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
Be sure to take my Sublime Philosophical Crap Test if you are interested in taking a slightly more intellectual test that has just as many insane ramblings as this one does!
About Saint_Gasoline
I am a self-proclaimed pseudo-intellectual who loves dashes. I enjoy science, philosophy, and fart jokes and water balloons, not necessarily in that order. I spend 95% of my time online, and the other 5% of my time in the bathroom, longing to get back on the computer. If, God forbid, you somehow find me amusing instead of crass and annoying, be sure to check out my blog and my webcomic at SaintGasoline.com.
Take The Personality Defect Test at HelloQuizzy |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 5th, 2008|08:14 am] |
My score on The "What's Your Romance/Martial Arts Style?" Test: Jeet Kune Do
(You scored 28% romantic, 71% modern, 23% aggressive and 100% sensual!) http://panther.is3.okcimg.com/users/944/368/9443690225991353122/mt659608308.jpg Fluid like water, you're Jeet Kune Do!
You're a very practical person: you remember only what is useful, and forget everything else. You use "no way" as way, and have "no limitation" as limitation!
You'll be a great lover, if you aren't one already. The problem is, almost nobody understands you. But that's all right. You're great the way you are!
&&
Pragmatic - Old-Fashioned - Receptive - Thoughtful: &Judo
Pragmatic - Old-Fashioned - Receptive - Sensual: &Pankration
Pragmatic - Old-Fashioned - Aggressive - Thoughtful: &Taekwondo
Pragmatic - Old-Fashioned - Aggressive - Sensual: &Muay Thai
Pragmatic - Modern - Receptive - Thoughtful: &Krav Maga
Pragmatic - Modern - Receptive - Sensual: &Jeet Kune Do
Pragmatic - Modern - Aggressive - Thoughtful: &Combat Sambo
Pragmatic - Modern - Aggressive - Sensual: &Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu
Romantic - Old-Fashioned - Receptive - Thoughtful: &Ba Gua Zhang
Romantic - Old-Fashioned - Receptive - Sensual: &Capoeira (Angola)
Romantic - Old-Fashioned - Aggressive - Thoughtful: &Pencak Silat
Romantic - Old-Fashioned - Aggressive - Sensual: &Monkey Kung Fu
Romantic - Modern - Receptive - Thoughtful: &Aikido
Romantic - Modern - Receptive - Sensual: &Capoeira (Regional)
Romantic - Modern - Aggressive - Thoughtful: &Competitive Wushu
Romantic - Modern - Aggressive - Sensual: &Savate Link: The "What's Your Romance/Martial Arts Style?" Test View My Profile: wiktowasichu (OkCupid Free Online Dating) |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 24th, 2008|12:55 am] |
Happy Peoples Republic of Treacle Mine Road Day!
Don't forget your lilac!
TRUTH, JUSTICE, FREEDOM, AND A HARD BOILED EGG |
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| Stolen from Sean |
[Mar. 16th, 2008|05:08 am] |
Everyone has things they blog about.
Everyone has things they don't blog about.
Challenge me out of my comfort zone by telling me something I don't blog about, but you'd like to hear about, and I'll write a post about it. Ask for anything: latest movie watched, last book read, political leanings, thoughts on lima beans, favourite type of underwear, graphic techniques, etc.
Repost in your own journal so that we can all learn more about each other! |
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| The Purple Sword of Passion |
[Mar. 15th, 2008|08:18 am] |
Kahlan's ample marble cupolas heaved in awaitance as she spied Richard's velociraptor-eyed form coming through the dungeon door. He looked splendid in his black latex Cosplay Wizard outfit. His oiled muscles bulged visibly under it, and so did his D'Haran love sausage of truth.
Kahlan was a long-haired woman, but Richard's hair was longer. She slid her experienced fingers down his magnificent yeard and undid his ponytail. His hair fell loose in a waterfall of manly, uncompromising ebony that cascaded past his knees, past his ankles, and pooled on the floor like a pool of starless night. Kahlan's white Confessor dress thing and red lace traveling panties followed.
"Screwhammer, be true this day," Richard said solemnly.
Richard instantly surrendered himself into a dance of life. The memories of all the former Seekers flooded into him, and he moved with the sleek grace of a velociraptor in heat, making not a slightest error as he twirled around like a hurricane of unstoppable blind lust. Boiling hot wetnesses, alabaster pillars, delicious rose puddings, twinned ecstasy mounds, soaking wet hotnesses, and turgid melons flew past him as he felled Kahlan and everyone else in the room within mere seconds.
Bringer of petit morte.
"Oh Richard, plunge your engorged D'Haran sword of passion into my exotic orchid!" Kahlan ejaculated.
With a metallic ring that cut the air into thin slices, so thin that they were transparent, Richard drew forth his mighty meat mace, which had the word Truth engraved in it. No collectivist could ever have such a wondrous sexual eggplant, as those people were without exception acting out of jealousy and justified sense of inferiority and thus wished to surgically, yet as painfully as possibly, truncate every man's stiff, proud flagpole of individuality into dismal but uniform one and a half inches, as was the custom in Jagang's evil Empire. There the wretched citizens gave sexual relations away for free in marriages or brutal gang rapes, while the exchange of money for such acts, which was the only natural and Capitalist way of things, as well as the only way of love that loved life and hated death, was forbidden under the pain of being tortured to death, just like all Collectivists everywhere and in all times wanted it to be.
Bringer of petit morte.
Richard's massive shotgun of masculine desire was naturally 27 inches long, he reflected instantly, a fact that reflected his inner Fabioan superhumanity, just like Kahlan's cup size (D) reflected hers, but he was able to make it as long and hard as he wished using his unique Cosplay Wizard powers. Without delay he made it a hundred times harder than diamond and 74 inches long tumescent test tube of blood and ardour which he plunged to the hilt into Kahlan's creamy softness.
Bringer of petit morte.
Kahlan gasped. Richard gasped. Zedd gasped. Betty the goat wagged her tail and gasped. The namble gasped. All the men gasped. Purple passion swept over them like a tissue over a wet stain under a rising moon.
(EDIT: Sorry, this objectivist parody porn is not my hot steaming work of love. This purple truncheon of a story was authored by someone i forgot to grab the name of before i posted. I mean c'mon, how could i not post porn that has an appearance by Betty the goat?") |
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| tom waits- long way home |
[Jan. 11th, 2008|03:13 am] |
Well I stumbled in the darkness
I'm lost and alone
Though I said I'd go before us
And show the way back home
There a light up ahead
I can't hold onto her arm
Forgive me pretty baby but I always take the long way home
Money's just something you throw
Off the back of a train
Got a head full of lightning
A hat full of rain
And I know that I said
I'd never do it again
And I love you pretty baby but I always take the long way home
I put food on the table
And roof overhead
But I'd trade it all tomorrow
For the highway instead
Watch your back if I should tell you
Love's the only thing I've ever known
One thing for sure pretty baby I always take the long way home
You know I love you baby
More than the whole wide world
You are my woman
I know you are my pearl
Let's go out past the party lights
Where we can finally be alone
Come with me and we can take the long way home
Come with me, together we can take the long way home
Come with me, together we can take the long way home |
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